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|Airdate||January 14, 2015|
|Story by|| Doctor Bugs |
|Written by||Doctor Bugs|
|Directed by||Doctor Bugs|
|Title card by||SBCA|
Blue Balls is the 9th episode of the series Basket Sponge.
SpongeBob wants to break the record for the most combo's ever attempted. But the ticking clock in the 4th quarter is pushing him for time to break it! Will he do it in time?
SpongeBob: (rushes into the gym, as practice begins) LEBRON!!! LEBRON!!! LEBRON!!! Something TERRIBLE has happened!!!!
LeBron: To what?
SpongeBob: The BALLS!!!!
Patrick: (giggles) Tee-hee....balls.
LeBron: Throw it on me. What happened, kid?
He shows the basketballs to LeBron, and he sees they are all painted blue. LeBron is surprised.
SpongeBob: And I can't wash them off! It's permanently stained! I think PATRICK did something!
5 hours earlier, some people wearing black hoodies spray paint the basketballs
SpongeBob: Or...maybe somebody who actually knows what paint even IS.
Patrick: (drinking a gallon of paint) This celery tastes like MUSTATRD!!! WAITRESS!!! GET YO FAT BUTT DOWN HERE AND GIVE ME A DIFFERENT DRINK!!!
LeBron: Definitely someone else. Probably some thugs.
SpongeBob: So what are we gonna do?
LeBron: I guess we'll just have to use our blue balls.
Squidward: Awwwhhh!!!! Don't say it like THAT, Coach!
Krabs: (Googles "blue balls" and reads the results) ........wow.......heh-heh....you probably don't wanna say it like that, Laddie.
LeBron: Don't wanna know. Let's just start practicin'!!! We have a game tonight at 7:00! Be there!
SpongeBob: Aye yai, COACH! (salutes)
That night, at 6:45
The team is at the game, stretching and warming up before it starts.
Larry: So what's the name of this team we're playing?
Opposing Player: (walks over to Larry and stomps on his foot)
Larry: Ouch! Watch it, bub!
Opposing Player: We're The Sting Rays. And if you think you can defeat us, you're in for a concussion, baby!
Larry: Oh really? I'll beat the living-
Hot Dog Seller: HOTDOGS!!! COME GET YOUR HOTDOGS, ONLY $3 PER BITE!!!
Larry: - out of you!
Opposing Player: We'll see about that. The name's Lee.
Larry: Lamest name I ever heard!
Opposing Player: Lee Ray, that is. Point guard for The Sting Rays.
Larry: Lee RAY??? Son of Coby RAY???? POBA all-star for like 10 years???
Lee Ray: Yup. And mah daddy's trained me to kick ASS on the court!
Larry: I can't believe it...I'm talking.....to the son of a basketball superstar...
Lee Ray: And you're looking at a FUTURE superstar! Cuz tonight, imma' break the world record for the most combos ever completed!!!
Larry: (getting dizzy) So....intimidated.......soooo....intimidated.....(faints)
Lee Ray: Hahahahah! Looks like this game will be a walk in the park!
SpongeBob: (marches forth) Oh yeah?! You know what, you CAN'T break the record for most combos ever completed!
Lee Ray: Hahahah. And why is that, little sponge?
SpongeBob: Because......drum roll.......I'M going to break the record!!! (fireworks burst in the air)
Lee Ray: ......(bursts into laughter)
Patrick: (bursts into laughter)
Krabs: (bursts into laughter)
Squidward: (bursts into laughter)
LeBron: (bursts into laughter)
SpongeBob: Coach! You should support me on this!
LeBron: Little dude, you can't even make a basket!
SpongeBob: But I can make a combo! .....what's a combo?
LeBron: It's when the point guard dribbles in, and makes immediately makes a shot, without any passing between teammates.
SpongeBob: Well, Larry's point guard....maybe HE can break the record.
LeBron: (kicks Larry's fainted body) Well he's out. Plankton, you're in this game.
LeBron: And SpongeBob, looks like you're gonna HAVE to play point guard.
SpongeBob: Me? Why??
LeBron: Cuz nobody else is WILLING to play point guard.
Squidward: I'd rather have blue balls disease.
Krabs: And I don't even know what point guard IS!
Patrick: And I like trains! (gets run over by a train)
Plankton: But I'll play point guard!
LeBron: Let me think about that for a minute...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, BUG BOY!!!!!!
Plankton: (kicks the ground) Douchebag.
LeBron: So SpongeBob, you're gonna play point guard.
SpongeBob: But I'm terrible!!
LeBron: I have faith in you. Plus, you said you would break that record. Now get out there and go!
SpongeBob: I'm reeeeeeeeeaaaaaaadddddddyyyyyyy!!!!!!! (the team runs onto the court)
LeBron: I'm not.
Buzzer beeps, the game begins.
LeBron drags unconscious Larry over to the bench.
The remaining 5 players get ready to begin.
Ref: (blows whistle)
SpongeBob: (gets the ball, and dribbles down the court) Remember, SpongeBob, I need to make a basket, without passing to anyone else.
SpongeBob shoots. The ball goes about 1 and half feet in the air, straight into Lee Ray's hand.
Lee Ray: Hahahah. Y'all are to fun.
Lee Ray dribbles down, and makes a basket.
Lee Ray: 1 combo down, 700 to go! Eat mah dust, sponge fool!
SpongeBob: (gets the ball, and dribbles down) Here goes nothing!
SpongeBob shoots right into Lee Ray's hands, he takes it and makes a combo.
The cycle continues throughout the entire first half.
SpongeBob: (furious) I can't BELIEVE it! Lee has 700 combos, and I have 0! He only NEEDS 1 MORE COMBO, to beat the record! What the hell do I do?
LeBron: Face it, bud. You can't break this record.
SpongeBob: I don't even care about the score! I need to break this record, FAST!
Squidward: You're gonna die doing this record. So do it!
SpongeBob: No! I will find a way!
Larry: (sleep talking on the floor) Blue balls......blue.......balls.....
Krabs: .........alrighty then!
Buzzer beeps, halftime ends.
SpongeBob: (runs down the court, and shoots with all of his might)
A slow-motion montage is shown, as the ball drifts into the air. LeBron's face turns into a smile. SpongeBob's mouth drops open. Lee Ray and the rest of The Sting Rays look disgusted.
The ball swishes into the hoop.
SpongeBob: YES!!!! I MADE A COMBO!!!! NOT ONLY THAT, IT'S MY FIRST BASKET EVER!!! IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!!!
Lee Ray: (dribbles down and dunks on the basket) Hah! 701 combos! I've broken the record, SUCKAH!!!
SpongeBob: It's only the third quarter, mate. I can still get 702.
Lee Ray: I'm not your MATE! I don't wanna catch blue balls disease!
When the 3rd quarter ends, Coach LeBron calls a timeout.
SpongeBob: Coach! Did ya see my shot? I made a combo!!!
LeBron: Don't get ahead of yourself, you need to make 702 combos to beat that Ray guy.
LeBron: I figured out how to do it!
LeBron: Take off your skin.
LeBron: Take. Off. Your. Skin.
SpongeBob: But.......I have blue balls....
LeBron: Forget about that! Just gimme your skin, fool!
SpongeBob: (peels off his skin, and hands it to LeBron) ....Patrick STOP STARING!!!
Patrick: Can you blame me? You're the one who said you had blue balls!
LeBron: Enough! I'm gonna take SpongeBob's place, and they'll NEVER notice the difference!!! I'm a genius!
Squidward: .........you sure, Coach? LeBron: Yep! If there's one thing I've learned down here, it's that fish are stupid!
SpongeBob: Great! I mean.....HEY!!!!!!
Buzzer beeps, 4th quarter begins.
LeBron: (runs down the court, wearing SpongeBob's skin) Look at me! I'm SpongeBob! Dopey dopey DOH!!!
SpongeBob: (on the bench) Hm!!!!! I do not act like that!!!
Larry: (sleep talking beside him) Blue......balls............
SpongeBob: Shut up, Larry!
On the court
LeBron scores his 702nd combo.
LeBron: Boooooooooooom!!!!!!!! Take that, suckahs!!!!!
Buzzer beeps. The game ends.
LeBron: We did it!!!!!! We won, team!!!!!! And the record is broken!!!!!! Our team is a LEGEND!!!!!
Lee Ray: (walks over to LeBron, and pulls LeBron's pants down)
Krabs: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! Blue balls!!!!
LeBron: No! That's my lucky blue underwear, krabby boy. I ain't got blue balls. Here, see for yourself:
Whole Team: AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Larry: (finally wakes up) ..........AHHHHHHH!!!!! (faints again)
- This used to be a unknown SpongeBob episode in where SpongeBob wanted to break a record for blowing gum. This is now a Basket Sponge episode.