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Rated Bert - Ages 13 and up

This article is rated Bert.

Son of a Witch
Witch
Series Reckless and Retired
Season 2
Episode 13
Airdate September 1, 2014
Story by Doctor Bugs
Written by Doctor Bugs
Storyboard artist(s) Doctor Bugs
Storyboard directed by Doctor Bugs
Directed by Doctor Bugs
Technical director(s) Doctor Bugs
Animation director(s) Doctor Bugs
Title card by Doctor Bugs

Son of a Witch is the 13th episode of Season 2 of Doctor Bugs's series Reckless and Retired.

It is the 35th episode overall.

Cast[]

Plot[]

Plankton sets off to find his long lost mother, who may be a witch.

Story[]

SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward, Sandy, and Krabs are sitting on the couch, looking at old photos of their families.

"I remember this old picture of me and my parents!" said SpongeBob. "Boy, do I miss them."

"My parents were good people as well," said Krabs, showing him a picture of his parents. "They taught me the value of a dollar. And a nickel. And a penny. Anything you can get your hands on."

"Remember that picture of me and Sandy making out!" said Squidward.

Everyone stared at him.

"I don't remember that. But we can make it happen!" Sandy grabs Squidward's face and begins to make out with him.

"Do you have any old family photos, Plankton?" asked SpongeBob, as Plankton walked into the room.

"Uhh...well....my parents were....uh...." muttered Plankton.

"What's the matter?" asked SpongeBob.

"Nothing. Just....go AWAY!!!!!" Plankton ran crying into the other room.

SpongeBob chased after him.

"Plankton, just let it all out. What's got you down?" asked SpongeBob.

"I don't wanna talk about my parents!" yelled Plankton.

"Maybe if you talk about it, you'll feel better!" said SpongeBob.

"Errgggg!!!! Fine! Look, I never had a father. And my mother was a horrible person! She abandoned me when I was 5!!! I had to raise myself!!!" yelled Plankton.

"That explains a lot...." said SpongeBob. "I mean, that's horrible!"

Plankton bursted into tears.

"HUG ME SpongeBob!!!!!!!!!!!!" he cried.

"There, there. Let it all out," said SpongeBob, hugging him.

2 hours later

Plankton sat on the couch watching Family Guy.

"Heh-heh...this show's been on for like a century, and the character's haven't aged," said Plankton.

SpongeBob runs into the room.

"PLANKTON!!! I've tracked down your mother, with the power of SOCIAL MEDIA!!!!" he announced.

"Really? Block her! Report her! Poke her! Dislike her! Do whatever you can possibly do on there to disturb her!" he demanded.

"Plankton, I found where she lives. We're gonna go meet her. And you guys are gonna make up," said SpongeBob.

"Why would I do THAT??? SHE ABANDONED ME!!!!!" yelled Plankton.

"Because she's the only family you've got. The rest of us WISH our parents were still alive. You need to talk to her."

"Ughhh....fine, let's go...." said Plankton. "But I'm not gonna enjoy it."

SpongeBob and Plankton left the retirement home, and set off on a journey to find Plankton's mother.

They traveled for DAYS................WEEKS..............MONTHS...................YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"We finally made it past the sofa!" cheered SpongeBob.

"Woo-hoo! Let's make it to the door now!" said Plankton.

"Don't get a head of yourself, Plankton. That's a big goal!" said SpongeBob.

A really, really, really, really long time later

"18084, Gum Drop Village, 22184," said SpongeBob, reading the address. "We're here!"

"I don't remember her living in a freakin' gingerbread house!" said Plankton.

"Maybe she moved!" said SpongeBob.

SpongeBob and Plankton opened the door.

"Hello? Mother?" said Plankton.

An evil, old, grumpy witch met them.

"What the hell do you want??????" said the witch.

"This is your son, Plankton!" said SpongeBob.

"I don't have a freakin' son!" screamed the witch. "Now get out! Unless you wanna be cooked for supper!"

"Nonsense! It's your son, I can prove it!" said SpongeBob.

"SpongeBob, that's not my mother..." said Plankton.

"Sure it is!" said SpongeBob.

"Not it's NOT. My mother was the same SPECIES as me. I can guarantee you that!" he said.

"Let me check the address again," SpongeBob re-reads the address. "Ohhhhh....Gum Drop City....not Gum Drop Village!!! Heh-heh...cuz most people live in a city....not in a village..."

"SpongeBob! You brought us to the wrong house!!!" yelled Plankton.

"That's it! I'm cooking both of you!" screamed the witch.

"You'll never catch us!" yelled SpongeBob.

The two elderly friends struggled to take 2 steps in 10 whole minutes.

"Hahahahah! This'll be fun!" laughed the witch.

She grabbed both of them, and shoved them in a steaming pot.

"SpongeBob! We gotta get out of here!" yelled Plankton. "Think of something!"

"I have my cell phone!" he said.

"Great! Call someone QUICK!!!!!!!" he screamed.

The scene cuts to Patrick, eating a watermelon at the retirement home. His phone vibrates in his pocket.

"Heh-heh! My butt feels tingly!" he then answers his phone. "SpongeBob? Plankton? Don't worry, I'll be there before you can say 'my butt tastes like cheese'!"

A really, really, really, really long time later.

Patrick arrives to the gingerbread house, huffing and Puffing. He then eats down the door.

"Stop right there, you son of a witch! Give me back my friends!" yelled Patrick.

The witch burped, as she felt her stomach.

"Oh that month? I remember that month. That was one delicious meal!" she said.

Patrick gasped.

"I ordered delivery instead. I just kept the two ugly dudes captive!" she points to SpongeBob and Plankton who taped to the wall.

"Oh thank goodness!" cried Patrick. "You still have left-overs!"

Opening the fridge, he takes out the box of pizza.

"Ewww, Papa John's? Really? Little Ceaser's is the way to go," complained Patrick. "This is absurd! My work here is DONE! Good day, you disgraceful Papa John's lover. I hate you!"

He dramatically leaves.

"Patrick? What the heck?!" yelled SpongeBob and Plankton, taped to the wall.

"Hahah! You're out of luck, fellas!" laughed the witch.

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