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Fruit Burger
Fruit Burger
Series SpongeBob SquarePants
Season 1
Episode 7a
Written by Wacko3
Directed by Wumbo Combo

Plot

Mr. Krabs turns the Krabby Patty to a healthier fruit burger to keep food critics from making bad comments about the Krabby Patty. But will everybody like them?

Characters

Transcript

  • [We see Mr. Krabs in his office counting his money]
  • Mr. Krabs: 435627162, 435627163, 435627164-
  • [An angry food critic bursts in]
  • Food Critic: EUGENE KRABS!
  • [We cut to the kitchen]
  • SpongeBob: EUGENE KRABS?
  • [We cut to the eating area]
  • Fish: EUGENE KRABS?
  • [We cut back to the office]
  • Mr. Krabs: I'LL SHOOT YA BEFORE YOU TAKE MY MONEY!
  • Food Critic: NOT IF I SHOOT YOU FIRST!
  • Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.
  • Mr. Krabs: How can you breathe underwater?
  • Will Ferrell: LOGIC
  • [Will Ferrell implodes]
  • Food Critic: ...I have no words.
  • Mr. Krabs: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MY MONEY!
  • [Squidward runs into the office]
  • Squidward: TAKE IT, PLEASE! RUN HIM OUT OF BUSINESS!
  • Mr. Krabs: SQUIDWARD, I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU!
  • Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.
  • Mr. Krabs: I thought you imploded!
  • Will Ferrell: LOGIC
  • [Will Ferrell explodes again]
  • Food Critic: EUGENE KRABS, YOU ARE LIABLE TO THESE CHARGES!
  • Mr. Krabs: Do I have to pay any money?
  • Food Critic: No-
  • Mr. Krabs: YAAAY! Okay, what do I have to do?
  • Food Critic: You have to change the Krabby Patty formula!
  • [We cut to the kitchen]
  • SpongeBob: *gasp*
  • [We cut to the eating area]
  • Fred: *gasp*
  • [We cut back to the office]
  • Mr. Krabs: Why would I do that?
  • Food Critic: First off, I have gotten complaints that the burger is unhealthy.
  • Mr. Krabs: What? The guy across the street sells CHUM! That poisons people!
  • Food Critic: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!
  • Nancy: THIS RESTAURANT HAS TOO MUCH GENDER DISCRIMINATION!
  • Food Critic: feminism
  • Nancy: Okay. I'm fine.
  • Mr. Krabs: The wonders of words!
  • Food Critic: TASTE THESE WORDS! MAKE YOUR BURGER HEALTHY, OR YOU WILL PAY MONEY!
  • Mr. Krabs: NOOOOOO!
  • R.E.M. IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!
  • [We cut to Squidward]
  • Squidward: And I feel fine.
  • [We cut back to the office]
  • Mr. Krabs: CHANGE IT IN 3 DAYS OR PAY!
  • [Timecard: 3 days later...]
  • Mr. Krabs: Welp, formula is changed.
  • SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I don't know about this-
  • Mr. Krabs: MAKE FRUIT PATTIES OR I'LL SHOOT YOU!
  • Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.
  • Mr. Krabs: Can you go away for real this time?
  • [Will Ferrell implodes]
  • SpongeBob: *sigh* It just doesntt seem right.
  • [We cut to the office]
  • Mr. Krabs: *gulp* What if SpongeBob is right? Maybe it is a bad idea!
  • [We cut to the eating area]
  • Harold: HEY! THIS THING TASTES AWFUL! WHY IS THERE A BUNCH OF FRUIT ALL OVER THE BURGER?
  • Tom: Yeah, I don't like it.
  • Mr. Horse: No sir, I don't like it.
  • Martha: LET'S LEAVE!
  • [A bunch of customers run out the door]
  • Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.
  • Mr. Krabs: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GO AWAY!
  • Old Man Jenkins: YOU DARN KIDS AND THEIR FLYING MACHINES!
  • SpongeBob: OLD PEOPLE RANTS!
  • Mr. Krabs: Who ya callin old?
  • Patrick: Who you calling pinhead?
  • Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.
  • Mr. Krabs: EVERYONE GO!
  • [Everybody except Mr. Krabs, Squidward and SpongeBob implode]
  • Mr. Krabs: THAT'S IT! I'M CHANGING THE FORMULA BACK!
  • [Food Critic walks in]
  • Food Critic: Eugene Krabs, on behalf of changing the formula back, I now fine you-
  • Mr. Krabs: NO YOU DON'T!
  • [Mr. Krabs shoots the Food Critic]
  • Squidward:..did you just KILL A FOOD CRITIC?
  • Mr. Krabs: Well, the moral of the story is that if you don't get things the way you want, shoot people!
  • SpongeBob: That's a pretty deranged moral.
  • Mr. Krabs: SHUT UP OR I'M GONNA SHOOT YOU!
  • Will Ferrell: Well...that escalated quickly.
  • Mr. Krabs: THAT'S THE LAST TIME!
  • [Mr. Krabs shoots Will Ferrell]
  • Squidward: You need help, Krabs.
  • THE END

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