Patrick of the Jungle: Transcript
Written by: Spongeman537
(Patrick is in his home watching TV)
Patrick: All these new shows stink!
(Commercial runs on)
Commercial Man: Are you bored?
Pat: You Bet!
Commercial Man: Did your friends go to a hockey game without you?
(Scene cuts to SpongeBob and Andy who are at a Hockey Game)
SpongeBob: This stinks!
SpongeBob: Should we leave?
Andy: Hmm... Nah
(Scene goes back to Patrick)
Commercial Man: Then you should go on a camping trip! Buy all your camping needs at Tom's House of Outdoor things!
Pat: That's just what I need!
(Pat turns off TV)
Pat: To that store where they... uh, sell... uh...
2 HOURS LATER
Pat: Uh... that store... where... oh who cares!
(Patrick gets into his boat and drives to the store)
AT THE STORE
Clerk: Hello sir, how may I help you?
Pat: I need a tent!
Clerk: How about this? (holds up a blue tent)
Clerk: This? (holds up yellow tent)
MUCH, MUCH LATER
Clerk (impatient): THIS ONE?
Pat: What rhymes with 'Go' and begins with 'N'?
Clerk: THAT'S IT! BUY A TENT OR GET OUT!
Pat: I was buying a tent?
(Pat gets kicked out)
Pat: Fine, I guess I'll have to improvise
(He grabs out a newspaper and drives away to a Jungle)
Sign: Beware! You can die if you enter!
Pat (sarcastically): Sure I can
(He drives through the forest till his car explodes)
Pat: OW! Oh well, might as well camp here. Hey, a frog!
(Pat chases a frog deep into the jungle)
SpongeBob: Have you seen him?
Squidward: What are you two doing?
SpongeBob: Pat's gone!
Squidward: He's gone? YAY! (laughs)
Andy: Hey look! (Points to tire tracks in the road)
SpongeBob: Those must be his! To the Boat!
(Andy and SpongeBob run to the boat as Squidward dances)
(Patrick lies down in grass panting)
Patrick: Wow, frogs are fast. What time is it?
(Looks at clock he drew on his wrist)
Pat: It appears to be sometime. Oh well... hey? Where am I?
Andy: How far do these tracks go?
SpongeBob: I have no idea
Andy: Look! They lead to a jungle!
SpongeBob: To that jungle (SpongeBob's Phone rings)
Squidward: SpongeBob, where are you? Are you looking for Patrick?
SpongeBob: Yes, why?
Squidward: Take as long as you want
SpongeBob: Gotcha Squiddy!
Squidward: Please don't call me that
SpongeBob: Okay, Squid-a-lid!
(Squidward frowns, then hangs up and throws a party)
Andy: Here we are!
(they stop and get out)
SpongeBob: This looks like a job for...
(Rips off clothes revealing a safari suit)
SpongeBob: SpongeBob SAFARIPANTS!
Andy: Oh Boy
(Patrick sets out his "tent" and sits down)
Pat: Aw, I miss home
(Odd looking bird flies to Pat)
Pat: Hi Birdie!
Pat: Hi, Mr. Squawk.
Pat: That's what I thought you said. Anyway, I'm lost. Do you know the way out?
Pat: Oh well. Bye bye Birdie!
Pat: I'm lost. Where is SpongeBob when you need him?
(SpongeBob is cutting tall grass with Andy behind)
SpongeBob: If my calculations are correct, we should enter a clearing right now
(SpongeBob bangs into a tree)
Andy: That's some clearing they got here!
SpongeBob: Hey! I just-
Andy and SpongeBob: Patrick!
(The three reunite)
SpongeBob: Hey Pat, where did you get that beard? You haven't been gone for a day!
Pat: Oh, it's just seaweed
Andy: Let's just go home. I bet Squidward will be happy to see you!
AT SQUIDWARD'S HOUSE
Squidward: That's odd, why do I suddenly feel so uncomfortable?