Patrick of the Jungle: Transcript

Written by: Spongeman537

Act 1:

(Patrick is in his home watching TV)

Patrick: All these new shows stink!

(Commercial runs on)

Commercial Man: Are you bored?

Pat: You Bet!

Commercial Man: Did your friends go to a hockey game without you?

(Scene cuts to SpongeBob and Andy who are at a Hockey Game)

SpongeBob: This stinks!

Andy: Yeah

SpongeBob: Should we leave?

Andy: Hmm... Nah

(Scene goes back to Patrick)

Pat: Yeah!

Commercial Man: Then you should go on a camping trip! Buy all your camping needs at Tom's House of Outdoor things!

Pat: That's just what I need!

(Pat turns off TV)

Pat: To that store where they... uh, sell... uh...


Pat: Uh... that store... where... oh who cares!

(Patrick gets into his boat and drives to the store)


Clerk: Hello sir, how may I help you?

Pat: I need a tent!

Clerk: How about this? (holds up a blue tent)

Pat: Nah

Clerk: This? (holds up yellow tent)

Pat: Nope

Clerk: Uh...


Clerk (impatient): THIS ONE?

Pat: What rhymes with 'Go' and begins with 'N'?


Pat: I was buying a tent?

(Pat gets kicked out)

Pat: Fine, I guess I'll have to improvise

(He grabs out a newspaper and drives away to a Jungle)

Sign: Beware! You can die if you enter!

Pat (sarcastically): Sure I can

(He drives through the forest till his car explodes)

Pat: OW! Oh well, might as well camp here. Hey, a frog!

(Pat chases a frog deep into the jungle)


SpongeBob: Have you seen him?

Andy: Nope

Squidward: What are you two doing?

SpongeBob: Pat's gone!

Squidward: He's gone? YAY! (laughs)

Andy: Hey look! (Points to tire tracks in the road)

SpongeBob: Those must be his! To the Boat!

(Andy and SpongeBob run to the boat as Squidward dances)

Act 2:

(Patrick lies down in grass panting)

Patrick: Wow, frogs are fast. What time is it?

(Looks at clock he drew on his wrist)

Pat: It appears to be sometime. Oh well... hey? Where am I?


Andy: How far do these tracks go?

SpongeBob: I have no idea

Andy: Look! They lead to a jungle!

SpongeBob: To that jungle (SpongeBob's Phone rings)

SpongeBob: Hello?

Squidward: SpongeBob, where are you? Are you looking for Patrick?

SpongeBob: Yes, why?

Squidward: Take as long as you want

SpongeBob: Gotcha Squiddy!

Squidward: Please don't call me that

SpongeBob: Okay, Squid-a-lid!

(Squidward frowns, then hangs up and throws a party)

Andy: Here we are!

(they stop and get out)

SpongeBob: This looks like a job for...

(Rips off clothes revealing a safari suit)

SpongeBob: SpongeBob SAFARIPANTS!

Andy: Oh Boy


(Patrick sets out his "tent" and sits down)

Pat: Aw, I miss home

(Odd looking bird flies to Pat)

Pat: Hi Birdie!


Pat: Hi, Mr. Squawk.

Bird: Hi

Pat: Huh?


Pat: That's what I thought you said. Anyway, I'm lost. Do you know the way out?

(Bird shrugs)

Pat: Oh well. Bye bye Birdie!


Pat: I'm lost. Where is SpongeBob when you need him?


(SpongeBob is cutting tall grass with Andy behind)

SpongeBob: If my calculations are correct, we should enter a clearing right now

(SpongeBob bangs into a tree)

Andy: That's some clearing they got here!

SpongeBob: Hey! I just-

Pat: Guys!

Andy and SpongeBob: Patrick!

(The three reunite)

SpongeBob: Hey Pat, where did you get that beard? You haven't been gone for a day!

Pat: Oh, it's just seaweed

Andy: Let's just go home. I bet Squidward will be happy to see you!


Squidward: That's odd, why do I suddenly feel so uncomfortable?


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