SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, let's call random people! (SpongeBob dials random number)

(disconnected sound plays)

SpongeBob: Barnacles. Patrick, your turn! (hands Patrick phone as he calls random number)

(Spanish guy speaking on phone)

Patrick: What are you, English or something? (hangs up phone) Weirdo.

SpongeBob: For my call, I'm pulling out the big phone book! (flips through pages) Look, Pizza Castle!

(SpongeBob calls Pizza Castle)

Guy on Phone: Hello?

Patrick: Tell them I want pizza now for free!

SpongeBob: SHUT UP! No, not you! (disconnected sound plays) Damn it! Your turn, Patrick.

Patrick: Potty mouth. (flips through pages of phone book) Divorce company? (shivers) Hey, look, a house remodeling service! I can call them and tell them my house is ugly!

(Patrick calls, followed by answering machine)

SpongeBob: What'd ya get?

Patrick: Stupid robot talking to me in his robot language.

SpongeBob: Patrick, that's an answering machine.

Patrick: I don't care what species it is! Here's the phone! I'm leaving!

SpongeBob: Patrick! (Patrick stomps out) Ah, whatever. Let's call another number...hmm, person named Waltz Banken? I better ask him if his toilet is clogged.

(Several rings are heard)

SpongeBob: Ugh, some people just wanna get in the phone book! (more rings are heard) WHY are they even in the phone book?

Patrick: Hey, here's a job I can do!

SpongeBob: Patrick, get back here! (looks at Patrick behind camera) Don't you try and mess with the camera...damn it!

(Screen fades to black)


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