C rating
Rated C - Ages 13 and up

This article is rated C, meaning it contains content that may be inappropriate for users under the age of 13.
Objectionable content includes: Sex, drug, and alcohol references, violence

Saint Starfish
Saint Starfish
Series Livin' With The Squid
Season 1
Episode 14
Short Big Meaty Claws
Airdate March 13, 2015
Production company Pineapple Entertainment
Story by TravisTheGreat
Written by TravisTheGreat
Title card by TravisTheGreat
Previous Episode Turning Into Patrick
Next Episode Movin' Back
Saint Starfish is the fourteenth episode of Livin' With The Squid.



It's Saint Patrick's Day and Patrick thinks it's a holiday about him so he begins constantly harassing the citizens of Coral City, believing he can do whatever he wants.


Squidward and Patrick had been eating Kelp-Os in the kitchen. "So, how's the porn video of you and Gill going?" Patrick asked. However, suddenly SpongeBob burst out of the fridge. "Happy Saint Patrick's Day!" he grinned. "Have you been in there all night?" Squidward asked. "Yep! It was really cold in there..." SpongeBob shivered. 

Squidward once used to live in Bikini Bottom

With neighbors SpongeBob and Patrick

And now for the episode plot

It's Saint Patrick's Day

Patrick thinks it's about him 

And well now let’s just say

It couldn’t have gotten any worse!

"Oops, it looks like I'm the wrong color for today! I better fix that!" SpongeBob said and got out a can of green paint, pouring it all over him. "Is it Saint Patrick's Day already? Ah, the only day I can legally drink Red Mist!" Squidward grinned as he pulled out a bottle of Red Mist and sipped it. "Don't you drink Red Mist everyday?" SpongeBob asked. "Yeah, but it's illegal. Which is stupid. I mean, Red Mist is the best beer in the whole ocean!" Squidward grinned, chugging down the whole bottle. 

"I thought Red Mist was an illegal drug," SpongeBob said. "Alcohol is a type of drug. Geez, SpongeBob. Didn't you go to school?" Squidward explained, sipping another bottle. "I know right! He doesn't even know what Wumbo is! Anyway, I can't believe there's a holiday dedicated to me! I can do whatever I want!" Patrick grinned. "Actually, it's dedicated to-" SpongeBob began but was interupted by Patrick. "Nonsense, SpongeBob! It's obviously about me! Everyone wears green today! Do you know why, SpongeBob? It's because my shorts are green! Heck, it even has my name in the title! What don't you get about that?! Anyway, time to celebrate!" Patrick grinned, running off. 

"Oh boy," SpongeBob said, a deadpan expression on his face. Squidward opened another bottle of Red Mist, twelve empty bottles laying on the floor. "How much Red Mist do you have?" SpongeBob asked, crossing his arms. "That's none of your business," Squidward snarked before proceding to chug down the alcohol. Meanwhile, Patrick had been sitting on a throne in the middle of Coral City. The citizens had gathered around town to see what was going on. 

"Attentions citizens of Coral City! Today is Saint Patrick's Day, a day to celebrate me, Patrick Star!" Patrick shouted, holding a megaphone up to his face to make it even louder. "Actually, it's to celebrate Saint-" one of the citizens began but was interupted by Patrick. "Shut up! No, it's not! SpongeBob's wrong, trust me. Anyway, since today's dedicated to me, you must give me all your stuff! And if you don't, you'll be thrown in jail!" Patrick threatened. That's when Officer John and Nancy came by. 

"Actually, Patrick, today is to a celebrate a different Patrick, not you," John pointed out. "Yeah, and you're not allowed to threaten people with jail time if they haven't done anything wrong. Especially if you're not a cop," Nancy said and took out the handcuffs. "Let's get him!" John shouted and they leaped towards Patrick. "Gah!" Patrick's eyes widened and he quickly ran back to Squidward's house. 

"Unbelievable!" Patrick shouted, entering the house, multiple Red Mist bottles on the floor. "What is it?" asked Squidward, laying on the couch. "The stupid police tried to arrest me on my own holiday! And the citizens didn't give me their stuff like I told them to!" Patrick complained. "Well, maybe I could help you out," Squidward asked. "And how would you be able to help?" Patrick asked, crossing his arms. "Easy, if they don't listen to you, I'll murder them!" Squidward grinned evilly, taking out a chainsaw. 

"Hm, that sounds unnessicarily cruel. I like it! Let's do it!" Patrick grinned and they went outside. There, the citizens of Bikini Bottom had surrounded their house. "Give it up, Patrick! We aren't giving you anything!" Nancy shouted. "Alright, guys. I'm giving you one more chance. If you don't give me your stuff, Squidward's killing you all!" Patrick threatened. "NO!" the citizens of Coral City shouted. "Alright, you asked it. Squidward, do it!" Patrick commanded. Squidward growled and headed towards the crowd, murdering tons of people. The cops gasped and tried to handle him, but he killed them as well. 

Matthew's Adventures

Matthew had been surfing the web into his room when suddenly Eugene burst in. "Aha! You're not wearing green!" Eugene said, smirking evilly. "Yeah, so?" Matthew said, crossing his arms. "It's Saint Patrick's Day! And do you know what happens to people who don't wear green on Saint Patrick's Day? They get pinched!" Eugene explained. "You with those those big meaty claws?!" Matthew asked, his eyes widening. "Yep!" Eugene chucked darkly and leaped towards Matthew. 

"NNNNNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Matthew shouted and jumped away from Eugene, crashing into the wall. Eugene then pinched him with his claws. "Ow-Ow-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Matthew screamed in pain. 

Saint Starfish Ending 

SpongeBob walked into the house, carrying a bag of groceries. "Hey, guys! I'm back! What did I miss?" he asked. "We killed the entire town," Squidward answered, a deadpan expression on his face. SpongeBob's eyes widened and he dropped the bag in shock. 


  • This is the fifth time in a row the theme song is modified to fit the theme of the episode. 
  • Saint Patrick's Day is revealed to be the only day where one can legally drink Red Mist.
    • It is also revealed that Red Mist is a type of alcohol. 
  • Patrick asks Squidward how the porn video with him and Gill is doing, a reference to the previous reference. 
  • Squidward states that he and Patrick killed the entire town yet Matthew and Eugene are shown to be still alive.
    • It's possible that he just thinks he killed the entire and there still a few survivors left. 
Livin' With The Squid Season 1
Movin' Out Of Bikini BottomCinnamon Breath SprayGirls Just Want To Have SexRed MistKrusty Kourt KaseFrom The SurfaceHallohateMayor SquidPatrick's JellyfishReality SquidThe Battle Continues...Turkey HuntTurning Into PatrickSaint StarfishMovin' BackDiscoveriesKrabsBack To NormalFortune Cookies Can't Be TrustedNew WorkerLivin' With The RetiredUnlawful LawsThat Damn SquidThe Good Old DaysBest EmployeeThe Squidward EffectHallohate 2: Haunted HouseSchool StarSea SéanceInternet Stalker ForumsSquidward's SuicideViciously Murdering Ourselves So We Can Get Our House BackThe Lost SnailSponge SwarmDelegate-lemmaBack To Hell (Not The Fanon Wiki) • Squid Meets Squid