Characters[]
Shubie
Nat Peterson
Evelyn
Mabel
Fred Rechid
Monroe-Timmy
Tommy
Martha Smith
Harold
MMA Owner
The Destroyer
Referee
Other wrestlers
Transcript[]
(Scene cuts to Shubie working at the mall)
Shubie: "Fred, you better pay for that."
Fred: "Oh, of course I will."
Shubie: "Stop running Monroe and Tommy."
Monroe and Tommy: "Aw." Monroe and Tommy stop running.
Shubie: "Oh, the new advertisements have been posted!" Shubie runs over to a wall with a bunch of advertisements on it.
Martha: "Excuse me, could you help me find some new shoes?"
Shubie: "Yeah, go ask one of the other employees." Shubie continues to look at the ads.
Shubie: "Mommy and Me classes! I should sign me and Billy up for that!" Shubie looks around the Mall and sees Harold walking out the door.
Shubie: "Hey! Harold, you have to pay for that!" Shubie accidentally signs up for the sheet below the Mommy and Me class one while she's yelling at Harold. The sheet she signed is for a woman's mixed martial arts league.
(Scene cuts to Nat's house a few days later)
Shubie: "I keep getting calls from this organization called the MMA saying that I signed up for the program. Do you know what that means?"
Nat: "MMA probably means that Mommy and Me Association you were telling about the other day."
Shubie: "Oh, yeah."
(Scene cuts to the MMA office)
Shubie: "What?!?! I didn't sign up for a woman's boxing league!"
MMA manager: "Is your name Shubie Peterson?"
Shubie: "Yes."
MMA manager: "Then you signed up for a season in the MMA! You will also need to get a coach, and the league starts on Sunday. Good day."
(Scene cuts to Nat's house)
Shubie: "Nat I need your help! Do you know anything about boxing?"
Nat: "Oh, no sorry, I don't know anything about boxing. But I do know someone who does."
Shubie: "Who?"
Nat: "Evelyn."
Shubie: "Evelyn?! That's a good one!" Shubie starts laughing.
Nat: "I'm serious." Shubie stops laughing.
Shubie: "Oh."
(Scene cuts to Evelyn's house) Shubie rings the doorbell and Evelyn opens the door.
Evelyn: "No Harold, I already told you I'm not going on a date with you! Oh, it's you. What do you want?"
Shubie: "I signed up for an MMA league, and I heard you were a pretty good fighter back in the day, so I was wondering if you would be my coach."
Evelyn: "I'm sure you'll get killed, but sure, I'll be your coach."
Shubie: "Great. The first match is on Sunday."
(Scene cuts to Shubie's first match)
Shubie: "So who am I facing?" Mabel walks into the ring.
Shubie: "Her?! She's my daughter's school teacher. She's so skinny! I'll kill her!"
Referee: "Alright ladies, get ready!" Mabel grows into a giant and her muscles pop out.
Mabel: "Grrrrrr..."
Shubie: "Oh, on second thought, maybe I won't kill her." The bell rings Mabel punches Shubie in the face and traps her in the corner.
Evelyn: "Right jab! Left jab! Block! Block! Block! Come on Shubie! Do something!"
Shubie: "Well, it's kind of hard to do something when someone's punching me in the face!" Shubie then pushes Mabel away. Shubie leaps up and punches Mabel in the face. Shubie wins.
(Scene cuts to Shubie punching and defeating all her opponents)
(Scene cuts to a lady called the Destroyer ripping another wrestler in half)
Wrestler: "Oh, come on! How am I going to win the marathon next week without any legs?"
Shubie: "(Gulps) She's really good."
Announcer: "Welcome to the MMA championship. In the right corner we have Shubie!" The crowd goes silent.
Announcer: "And in the left corner we have the Destroyer!" The crowd goes wild, and a bell rings. The Destroyer runs up and punches Shubie. Shubie goes flying into the corner. Then Destroyer kicks her in the face. Shubie weakly gets up and jumps up to throw a punch at her, but Destroyer grabs her by her neck and throws her on the ground. Shubie tries to get up but gets stomped on by the Destroyer.
Destroyer: "Ha! How'd you even get this far pipsqueek? You suck at fighting. I heard you only joined ghis league because you thought it was a Mommy and Me class. Ha! I bet your baby can fight better than you, oh, wait he can't, he's got your genes!"
Shubie: "Nobody, makes fun of my kids, especially some big, fat, stupid wrestler!" Shubie punches Destroyer in the face, and knocks her out.
Announcer: "Shubie wins!" The MMA manager hands her a trophy and the ten thousand dollar prize.
MMA manager: "So, Shubie, are you gonna be back next season?"
Shubie: "Are you kidding? No."
(Scene ends)