C rating
Rated C - Ages 13 and up

This article is rated C, meaning it contains content that may be inappropriate for users under the age of 13.

Unlawful Laws
Series Livin' With The Squid
Season 1
Episode 22
Airdate July 5, 2015
Production company Pineapple Entertainment
Story by The Terrible Travis
Written by The Terrible Travis
Title card by WumboCombo
Previous Episode Livin' With The Retired
Next Episode That Damn Squid
Unlawful Laws is the twenty-second episode of Livin' With The Squid.



Squilliam begins making a bunch of new safety rules to try and prevent another mass murder from occurring.


Squidward, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Technetium had been walking through Coral City. "Can we go to the strip club next? I'd like to apply for a job," Patrick asked. "I'm pretty sure they don't allow people under the age of 18 to go inside," Squidward said. "Um, Patrick's 26," Technetium pointed out. "Oh, I forgot," Squidward muttered. "Hey, what's with the big crowd?" SpongeBob asked, pointing to a giant crowd gathered by Squilliam's house. "That's the mayor's house," Technetum. "Ah, don't you just love the smell of political corruption in the morning?" Squidward asked, deeply inhaling the water around him. "It's the afternoon," SpongeBob pointed out dryly. 

Squidward once used to live in Bikini Bottom

With neighbors SpongeBob and Patrick

But then he had enough

He couldn’t take them anymore

So he moved to Coral City

And well now let’s just say

It couldn’t have gotten any worse!

Squilliam exited his house, greeting the crowd. "Hello, hello! Good morning, great folks of Coral City!" he waved. "IT'S THE AFTERNOON!" SpongeBob shouted. "Ah, my apoligies. Good afternoon," Squilliam said, correcting himself. "Well, atleast he can admit when he's wrong!" SpongeBob grinned. "Unlike Squidward," Patrick said. "Hey!" Squidward growled. "Now, uh we all know about the mass murder that occured back in March. Since we were all revived by that pink some stuff, I've been working on a way to ensure that never happens again," Squilliam announced. 

"Oh, you won't be able to top it from happening again..." Squidward muttered, taking out an axe. "Bad squid," Technetium scolded, grabbing the axe from Squidward and throwing it away. The axe quickly knocked into Matthew's air helmet, cracking it open. "Oh, you've gotta be kidding me," Matthew mutted, the water filling up his helmet, causing him to fall down to the ground, his face now purple. "Oops," Technetium said nervously. 

"Now I have come up with multiple new laws to prevent terrible things like this from occuring in the future. These laws will be activated in five minutes," Squilliam said, taking out an extremely long list of rules. "FIVE MINUTES! Quick, Patrick! Let's kill everyone here!" Squidward shouted desperately. Patrick grinned, taking out multiple torture weapons. "Now, now Patrick. What did we talk about?" SpongeBob asked, crossing his arms. 

"That you secretly enjoy watching My Small Sea Pony: Imagination Is Coolio Moolio?" Patrick asked. "The other thing!" SpongeBob shouted. "That you're self conscious about your child-like behavior and mindset?" Patrick asked. Squidward and Technetium then turned to stare at SpongeBob. "He's lying," SpongeBob said, quickly stuffing his hands into his pockets and glancing at the ground nervously. 

                                    Five Hours Later

Patrick had been sensually dancing at the local strip club, with multiple people cheering. "WHOO! KEEP IT GOING, BABY!" Squilvia shouted. Suddenly, Squilliam burst in. "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" he shouted. "Huh?" Patrick paused, holding his pants in the air, leaving him only in his Goofy Goobers underwear. "Boy, those briefs sure do turn me on..." Squilvia drooled. Squilliam swiftly handcuffed Patrick, as well as everyone attending the strip club. "You're all going to the slammer! Watching a three year old strip, that's messed up!" Squilliam shouted, absolutely disgusted. "Actually, I'm two," Patrick said drly. 

                                     30 Minutes Later

SpongeBob had been on his laptop, roleplaying on Swimmr as Wisherella, the main character of My Small Sea Pony: Imagination Is Coolio Moolio. Suddenly, Squilliam burst in. "GAH!" SpongeBob gasped, clicking switching to another tab. "Haven't you ever heard of kncoking?!" SpongeBob scolded. He then noticed Squilliam staring at the laptop screen, realizing that it was on the My Small Sea Pony: Imagination Is Coolio Moolio Wiki. "Oh, hehe!" SpongeBob grinned nervously, switching to another tab, which was another about the show. His eyes widen, rapdily clicking through tabs, only to find each and every one was about the tv series. 

"You're messed up," Squilliam said, shaking his head as he handcuffed the sponge. "What did I do?!" SpongeBob questioned. "You're obviously trying to lure young girls to you from your Swimmr account!" Squilliam accused. "What?! No, I was just enjoy the show! Honest! Please don't arrest me! It'll ruin my Good Noodle record!" SpongeBob pleaded. "Tell it to the judge!" Squilliam shouted, walking downstairs and dragging SpongeBob into his limousine. 

"Alright, this has gone far enough! Squilliam has arrested all of my roomates! Now who's gonna pay for my house?!" he growled. "I'm still here," Technetium pointed out. "You don't count!" Squidward shouted, running outside. He then slammed into Michael and Daniel. "The weirdo FBI agents? What are you guys doing here?" Squidward asked. "We hate the mayor! I can't believe he's still in office while we've been fired! Well, I can understand Daniel being fired but me?! Me?! What the hell, man?!" Michael ranted. "Yeah, we're starting a new organization dedictaed to fighting against his tyranny! It's gonna be called Anti-Fancyson!" Daniel explained.

"You ripped that off from Leader Plankton!, didn't you?" Squidward asked, crossing his arms. "Yes," Daniel admitted, glancing down at the ground. Suddenly, the limousine drove back by. "You guys want a lift? I've decided to quit office and reinsate you three instead," Squilliam asked. "Sure!" they grinned, quickly hopping into the limo. "Haha, I can't believe you guys fell for that!" Squilliam laughed evilly, driving off. 

"Man, that's some really bad writing," Daniel said. "That's what we get for letting a damn 13 year old write this shit," Squidward crossed his tentacles as they were driven to jail. 


  • It is revealed that SpongeBob is self conscious about his child-like behavior. 
  • My Small Sea Pony: Imagination Is Coolio Moolio is a parody of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.
    • Swimmr is also a parody of Tumblr. 
Livin' With The Squid Season 1
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